THE IS A SEQUEL TO THE PREVIOUS BLOG POST (MOMENT OF TRUTH).
A few days later, I was summoned for a meeting and I discerned there was a little problem as earlier anticipated. Daddy J signalled his wife to tell me what the HOLY Spirit told her during her prayers. She flicked her braid. “The Holy Spirit told me HE didn’t tell you to leave. He said you are going towards your own lust. Probably, this house is restricting you from whatever you wanna do.” Each of those words hit me like Deontay Wilder’s power punches. I sank into the cushioned sofa. My heart stopped pulsating for a few seconds, but I managed to stay alive. I could’ve gotten emotional, but I didn’t. Instead, I tossed them a confident smile as if to say I have heard you, but I don’t give a damn! I have learnt not to show emotions in such an environment. I looked into Daddy J’s eyes and I knew exactly where his pendulum of support would swing (You should know also) so I knew I was alone at that moment.
My Dad used to be my protector, but he chose to walk out of my life at age 6 and since then, I have known the pain of being attacked by people who are supposed to be my shield. I have been bullied all my life even by those I loved the most. Howbeit, I would rather be attacked than to be understood by those who are not supposed to be a part of my destiny. Jesus said, ‘a man of the spirit should be unpredictable’.
I replied “Okay, I have heard and it’s fine”. They pressurized me into doing what exactly was on my mind sadly, and they succeeded. So, I said: “You said Holy Spirit spoke to you and I am convinced about this in my own heart. However, this is my life and my decision stands. I paused to catch a breath “whoever is right will be revealed at the right time.”
The tension heightened but I cared less. They instructed me to report myself to the right authorities in the family and only if that condition is fulfilled, would I be permitted to leave. I owe nobody but my brother and mum such explanation and as a wink in the dark, it would have been an effort in futility to tell both of them about such decision but telling them was not just to fulfil my bail condition but it was the only honourable thing to do.
AY (my elder brother): “If you haven’t gotten a good job and they are not pushing you out of the house, it is very stupid to leave at this time without money or any means of survival. The only thing I am seeing here is pride. There is no way you will leave the house with your relationship with them still intact because it is only fools that leave this way. Leaving is inevitable but the timing is very wrong.” He ended his talk with a calm voice and added: You are the only brother I have and it’s my responsibility to protect you and now that I am far away, I need you to make the right decision boy!
ME: Don’t you worry about me; I will be good, and I will keep you updated. I promise. This is the right decision.
He stressed saying: “You think you can survive without anyone. You are just twenty-something years old with zero support system” (He reminded me of my age as if I do not know). He was 27 years old then but the age difference was massive enough to qualify him as a father (especially when the father retired earlier).
My Mom: “Whatever your sister says is final. If she is not happy with your decision, then you don’t have her blessing and if you don’t have her blessing on this decision, you don’t have mine too”. When I told her, I have made up my mind, she yelled: “Pride goes before a fall, at this age, if nobody can talk to you then it is very dangerous because you don’t even have anything yet.”
ME: Don’t you worry about me; I have made up my mind and I will be fine. Mummy J is my padi, we will settle our differences and we will both be good.
I felt their pain that night. Despite that I didn’t want them to worry about me, I worried a bit about their emotional health. Thankfully, AY and Mom were Muslims and they didn’t have to pray about it. I am sanguine; they prayed for me, but I am excited they didn’t have to pray about it or consult the Holy Spirit. Nothing is as disheartening as seeing people I love the most suffer serious heartbreak and at the centre of it all, was me. That was my cross and I carried it and followed Jesus as hard as I could.
At this juncture, I knew there would be so much before me. I would have hills far steeper to climb, valleys much darker to pass through. And I must get it all out of myself through Grace.
Amid all these, Richard had connected with me via Facebook even though we hadn’t seen or spoken since 2006. As of 2006, we were both kids and we were not friends even though we were not enemies either. I visited him in his cubicle in the ghetto on the 18th of May. I even questioned how he was surviving in such environment I was very vocal about it.
Long story cut short, 1st of June, the boys were crying as I dragged my bags towards the door and I heard their mum say words of consolation to them but oppression to me and it felt like a two-edged sword: “Don’t mind uncle T, Hunger will chase him back home in two weeks.” She turned to me to give me some hope. “When the hunger is getting too much, the door is still open to you. Goodbye T boy (as she fondly calls me)”.
An effectual door has been opened to me in Richard’s house and with joy, I set my feet on the right road and my face set towards the gate which is called destiny, though I fell many times in the mires, there were many cold and hungry nights and often I went astray. Nevertheless, I am grateful each day I walk a little closer to Goshen; my place of plenty and comfort.
I SERVED YOU THIS INSTEAD OF MY BIRTHDAY CAKE(BECAUSE OF DISTANCE). KINDLY LET ME KNOW IF THIS STORY IS WORTH YOUR TIME VIA THE COMMENT SESSION.