Below are the three classes of humans that exist in your life and their needs:
- THE ACQUAINTANCES: These are people within your circle with almost the same needs, aspirations and likewise, challenges. In a more literal term, they are your contemporaries. We always feel the weight of pressure when people within our age grade have achieved what we are still aspiring to achieve and it makes obvious the fact that your life is moving in ‘slow motion’. A 16 year old boy may not be frustrated about not gaining admission into the university until most of his mates have crossed that line; most unhappy single ladies I know are depressed about being unmarried not because marriage is important to their fulfilment of destiny but because most of their friends are married with kids. In fact, society mounts the most pressure in an area where you seem to lag behind compared to your mates; they believe something is wrong with you for not meeting up and sadly they make you believe same about yourself.
The greatest need of this class of persons is attention. They crucify you if you dare forget their birthdays, probably call you stingy if you cannot afford their lofty ‘asoebi’ for their wedding; these persons possess a crazy sense of entitlement. They are extremely useful on the social front but in the grand scheme of things, are seemingly unimportant. They cover 80% of your contact.
Their priority is your presence and not your growth. Naturally, we love to be around them because they make us feel comfortable with ourselves. I have come to realize that often times, people we feel the most comfortable with, are exactly the kind of persons we do not need. DEAL WITH THIS CLASS WITH WISDOM. Thomas J. Watson couldn’t have said it better when he said “Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.”
2. THE ALLIANCES:
“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller
“If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.” – Henry Ford
Alliances show up when there is an assignment or purpose. They are folks going towards the same direction with you, sometimes they possess more sophisticated weapons and are willing to align with you to bring down the roaring Goliath. They are your gang.
I had some study groups back in school, they stretched my mental capacity (I don’t know if I added much but they played much more because of me). I presently have some bloggers, writers, graphic designers, website designer, social media experts etc. in my circle; they are indeed irons sharpened enough to sharpen my iron.
Alliances are driven by mutual benefits, so they care more about what you are bringing to the table and how you fit into their vision. The core purpose of this class of persons is result. You might not have the capacity to attract such result on your own except through a stronger team of warriors who won’t mind dragging you along the path of victory.
The major needs here are value. Your value determines your relevance in any team. If you really want to grow in any field of endeavors, you need to prioritize your alliances.
3. THE ADVOCATES:
“If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.” –ISAAC NEWTON
In the grand scheme of life, the main question is not who you are but whose you are. Advocates are those whose names open doors where our consistent knocking and banging can never open. Advocates are fathers, and fatherhood has nothing to do with age. It is only an advocate that has the capacity to say “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased…hear him!” The quality and quantity of advocates in your life determines the quality of your victories in life. If you observe the political terrain closely, you will appreciate the presence of advocates in people’s life. It doesn’t matter how old your advocate is, if he or she ever tells you “tell them you are from me” then on such matter, he or she is your advocate.
Advocates will not seek your attention like your acquaintances would, but it would be beneficial to you to give them all the attention in this world. They may not notice if you forget their birthdays, but they will never forget if you manage to remember. Your value matters here to some extent but the most important need in this kind of relationship is your sense of Honour.
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