Photo credit : Mikey OTR

“I will be right behind you, son.I will always be near. I will be here to guide you. You have nothing to fear “–Rockdweller

My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee, else, thou shall sink in the sand of regret.
Son, concerning marital relationship, here are my priceless pieces of advice to you and everyone around you (even your children) :

1. YOU ATTRACT YOUR LIKE: Your life is a magnet that attracts only its likes. You will NOT marry the kind of person you like and desire, you will only marry your like – your kind and type in key aspects of life. Deep calleth unto deep says the good book.
You cannot live like a proverb 7 man and expect heaven to give you a proverb 31 woman as a wife (that is unfair). If you want a virtuous woman, just strive to be a man of character then sit back and expect nature to usher her into your life. It’s that easy and simple. However, if you desire a shallow girl just relax and don’t bother work on yourself or improve your content. Boy, an intelligent lady will tilt towards a man who can sustain intelligent conversation and handle life with class. That is how life works.

Marriage is like football boots, everyone has his specific size. If you grow, then your size tend to increase and if you don’t you will maintain your infant size. Oversize or undersize leads to injury and affect performance on the field of play.

I have observed that whenever an intellectually sound woman finds herself in a relationship with a cold-poll, after sometimes, she finds the man boring and in most cases the man finds her cocky or intimidating; the relationship melts like butter placed in the oven.

2. YOU ARE THE HEAD: You are the head and she is not the tail (she is the body). Being the head doesn’t make you superior to her in any way, it just gives you the opportunity to lead. Never forget, the whole body has more cells, organs and systems more than the head. The head can NOT do anything without the cooperation and alignment of the entire body.
JESUS is the head and the church is the body, more reason He can only do nothing in this world and generation without the cooperation of the church. If the church can limit God then she can define your boundaries too. So, be careful!
The head houses the brain and the vision. You are the visionary of your relationship. You are expected to see ahead in your relationship and position yourself and your relationship before hand. A leader is the one who sees things the way they could be instead of the way they are or seems. Don’t be part of those folks who promise to love people just the way they are, even if they are bag of flaws, I don’t believe that is love (Love comes with transformation). A godly leader loves people enough not to leave them the way they are; He lifts them to the height they are supposed to be even when it comes with painful process.
Hey son, you are also the knowledge bank of the relationship. You are responsible for the growth of the individuals in the relationship. She must look back see a huge gulf between where she was before and during (or after) the relationship. You are supposed to impart confidence into her and implant greatness into her subconscious.
NOTE: SHE MUST BE TEACHABLE if not ehn, you will end up working so hard, trying to fill a bottomless pit with your treasures. That is unwise. If she is not teachable then she is ‘LEAVEable’. FLEE!
Let me quickly roll this in: Choose to be submissive to her even as she submits to you. A leader is the one that is willing to learn from his followers. She has her area of strength; so, let her lead in those areas especially if you are not excellent in that aspect. The Bible says we should submit to each other.
Over the years, I have discovered that stubbornness is the logo of great women. However, we might brand them in vessels like principled, strong-willed etc. But I think every great woman has a bit of stubbornness, so learn how to cope with that.

3. BE LOYAL: Loyalty goes beyond restraining from sexual relations outside marriage or relationship (I don’t have to emphasize that premarital sex isn’t allowed in our league; Do I? No, I don’t!). Loyalty in this context means rating no other female above her within your circle of influence. She must always top the peaking order always especially in her absence. I think my friend, Dave captured it better in this statement “I just behave as if she sees and hears everything I do and say via a gadget.”

Personally, I believe if you do what you both agree you will not do without her consent. I think, it is disloyalty.

My mum invited me over for a relationship talk two years ago (31/08/15* to be specific). I was blown away by her wisdom and I think that is the deepest conversation we ever had. During what I call Iya Ayo’s relationship seminar, she said:
The strongest person in any relationship (even in friendship) is the most loyal person in that relationship. If you are loyal and the relationship goes south and finally head for the rock, God will gladly compensate you by replacing the person with a better quality in all aspects of life (the least loyal person gets lower quality). There is always a most loyal in every relationship even if they are both ‘saints’, Son, strive to be that person always!

Honestly, I haven’t found any scripture to support her theory. However, I have chosen to hold on to mama’s instruction. It is reasonable, I think.

Son, I suggest you flaunt your relationship status and don’t be mute about how wonderful she is especially in the midst of your female friends. Personally, that helps me a lot especially when it comes to misinterpretation of kind and ‘naughty’ gesture even words. Whenever I send wrong signals, it won’t wreck much havoc because they understand this dude is got no space for whatever my brain is thinking (I hope you understand).

Proverbs 21:9 AMP

It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman.

Proverbs 21:19 KJV

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
A lady who cannot put her anger and emotions under control is a huge liability to your life and generation. From my observation, ladies with zero anger management skills suffer chronic entitlement syndrome; they feel they own you and they poses threat to your relationship with your friends (especially ladies). Son, nothing inhibits your growth in life like such a woman. In fact, when Satan sees this kind of lady in your life, he would just pick his pen and notepad to take notes and learn new and more effective skills on how fast a man’s life can be irredeemably wrecked at the speed of light.
My son, God loves you so much and that is the reason he warned (still warning) you vehemently even via scriptures against brawling women the same way he warned Adam against that fruit in the garden.

Anger lies in the bosom of a fool and a foolish woman bulldoze her home without any external assistance….“but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.(Proverbs 14:1b).”
This is the good news: Like a snake rips off its skin for a brand new one, anyone with anger problem can walk out of the habit effortlessly if willing to pay the price. The problem lies within their two ears.
Finally my son, Always follow the instructions of the greater one that lives inside of you.

Your Ranting Dad,

Olatunji Rockdweller.

If this piece did not bless you, kindly leave without leaving a comment. However, if you were blessed by it in anyway. Dropping a comment is honorable.

119 thoughts on “COME ON SON!… LET’S TALK ABOUT LADIES. ”

  1. Uncle Barmz, I’m honored to follow your write ups, I’m very blessed.
    This is sound, it has some very hard truth(s) that we tend to neglect … “SHE MUST BE TEACHABLE if not ehn, you will end up working so hard, trying to fill a bottomless pit with your treasures. That is unwise. If she is not teachable then she is ‘LEAVEable’. FLEE! ” … This is one of the truths.
    Also I totally agree with the part of been submissive, we’ve been thought otherwise but thank God for scripture.
    God bless you Uncle Barmz, keep ranting

  2. Great piece. KEY POINTS….YOU cant live like a proverb 7 man and expect a proverb 31 lady
    There is some trace of stubborness to every great woman….i concur….so men..learn to cope with this
    Marry a teachable woman…she has enough room for development….
    And much more….

  3. Another excellent piece Sir even though I still have my best, lol.
    I quickly rushed to read number 2. I love how you explained it with wisdom using Jesus whom I believe is the best example. There are millions of pieces on relationships but when the person gets to number 2 then you’ll know who’s inspired by the Holy Spirit.
    The teachable* part I think applies to both parties. Most rampant with marriages of the generation before us. Unfortunately for them the society then didn’t really understand it like we do now neither was the leaveable* option available. Where you wonder how this man and this woman met which has affected a lot of our generation.
    That number 2 is a very broad topic I must say. You did it justice though.
    Well written, why won’t it when you have the Holy Spirit.
    I enjoyed this and yes thank you.

  4. If she is not teachable then she is ‘LEAVEable’. FLEE!
    The absolute Truth.
    I love this relationship ‘series’ you hv been writing lately, very vital to creating the Godly Family. God bless you Sir, more wisdom and more inspiration.

  5. Wow,beautiful piece….if all fathers educate their sons this way we won’t be having high rate of divorce in our society…am deeply bless by this…more grace and inspiration.

  6. Nice one I have always believed that you’ll always get a help meet comparable to you. Cos like attracts like. From this piece and the last one it can be infered that the rock dweller will make a wonderful Papa. Grace for deeper wisdom. Loaded content as always. Truely inspiring

  7. finally I get to read this! thank God and thank you too Tunji! this blessed me. I’d keep for my son. Lol. Hope you’d write one for the ladies too? I’m patiently anticipating one. God bless you dear!

  8. He is at it again. Thanks dear. I like the part where you said most great women are stubborn. It got me smiling. Kudos bro.

  9. Wow awesome,this is sound wisdom as I was reading and enjoying it before i know it the thing has ended i was like i need more of this,brother we need more…am speaking for myself and concerned brothers party.thank you for being a blessing always.

  10. Another great one , I believe this can reduce the rate of divorce in our society…….. that is if the spirit touches those involved through this post.

  11. When men learn to see and tell the truth as it is, it breeds greater men. A man that can learn to follow will always know how to lead.
    More grace sir, solid points

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