Photo credit : Mikey OTR
“I will be right behind you, son.I will always be near. I will be here to guide you. You have nothing to fear “–Rockdweller
My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee, else, thou shall sink in the sand of regret.
Son, concerning marital relationship, here are my priceless pieces of advice to you and everyone around you (even your children) :
1. YOU ATTRACT YOUR LIKE: Your life is a magnet that attracts only its likes. You will NOT marry the kind of person you like and desire, you will only marry your like – your kind and type in key aspects of life. Deep calleth unto deep says the good book.
You cannot live like a proverb 7 man and expect heaven to give you a proverb 31 woman as a wife (that is unfair). If you want a virtuous woman, just strive to be a man of character then sit back and expect nature to usher her into your life. It’s that easy and simple. However, if you desire a shallow girl just relax and don’t bother work on yourself or improve your content. Boy, an intelligent lady will tilt towards a man who can sustain intelligent conversation and handle life with class. That is how life works.
Marriage is like football boots, everyone has his specific size. If you grow, then your size tend to increase and if you don’t you will maintain your infant size. Oversize or undersize leads to injury and affect performance on the field of play.
I have observed that whenever an intellectually sound woman finds herself in a relationship with a cold-poll, after sometimes, she finds the man boring and in most cases the man finds her cocky or intimidating; the relationship melts like butter placed in the oven.
2. YOU ARE THE HEAD: You are the head and she is not the tail (she is the body). Being the head doesn’t make you superior to her in any way, it just gives you the opportunity to lead. Never forget, the whole body has more cells, organs and systems more than the head. The head can NOT do anything without the cooperation and alignment of the entire body.
JESUS is the head and the church is the body, more reason He can only do nothing in this world and generation without the cooperation of the church. If the church can limit God then she can define your boundaries too. So, be careful!
The head houses the brain and the vision. You are the visionary of your relationship. You are expected to see ahead in your relationship and position yourself and your relationship before hand. A leader is the one who sees things the way they could be instead of the way they are or seems. Don’t be part of those folks who promise to love people just the way they are, even if they are bag of flaws, I don’t believe that is love (Love comes with transformation). A godly leader loves people enough not to leave them the way they are; He lifts them to the height they are supposed to be even when it comes with painful process.
Hey son, you are also the knowledge bank of the relationship. You are responsible for the growth of the individuals in the relationship. She must look back see a huge gulf between where she was before and during (or after) the relationship. You are supposed to impart confidence into her and implant greatness into her subconscious.
NOTE: SHE MUST BE TEACHABLE if not ehn, you will end up working so hard, trying to fill a bottomless pit with your treasures. That is unwise. If she is not teachable then she is ‘LEAVEable’. FLEE!
Let me quickly roll this in: Choose to be submissive to her even as she submits to you. A leader is the one that is willing to learn from his followers. She has her area of strength; so, let her lead in those areas especially if you are not excellent in that aspect. The Bible says we should submit to each other.
Over the years, I have discovered that stubbornness is the logo of great women. However, we might brand them in vessels like principled, strong-willed etc. But I think every great woman has a bit of stubbornness, so learn how to cope with that.
3. BE LOYAL: Loyalty goes beyond restraining from sexual relations outside marriage or relationship (I don’t have to emphasize that premarital sex isn’t allowed in our league; Do I? No, I don’t!). Loyalty in this context means rating no other female above her within your circle of influence. She must always top the peaking order always especially in her absence. I think my friend, Dave captured it better in this statement “I just behave as if she sees and hears everything I do and say via a gadget.”
Personally, I believe if you do what you both agree you will not do without her consent. I think, it is disloyalty.
My mum invited me over for a relationship talk two years ago (31/08/15* to be specific). I was blown away by her wisdom and I think that is the deepest conversation we ever had. During what I call Iya Ayo’s relationship seminar, she said:
The strongest person in any relationship (even in friendship) is the most loyal person in that relationship. If you are loyal and the relationship goes south and finally head for the rock, God will gladly compensate you by replacing the person with a better quality in all aspects of life (the least loyal person gets lower quality). There is always a most loyal in every relationship even if they are both ‘saints’, Son, strive to be that person always!
Honestly, I haven’t found any scripture to support her theory. However, I have chosen to hold on to mama’s instruction. It is reasonable, I think.
Son, I suggest you flaunt your relationship status and don’t be mute about how wonderful she is especially in the midst of your female friends. Personally, that helps me a lot especially when it comes to misinterpretation of kind and ‘naughty’ gesture even words. Whenever I send wrong signals, it won’t wreck much havoc because they understand this dude is got no space for whatever my brain is thinking (I hope you understand).
4. BEWARE OF A SHORT TEMPERED WOMAN:
Proverbs 21:9 AMP
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman.
Proverbs 21:19 KJV
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
A lady who cannot put her anger and emotions under control is a huge liability to your life and generation. From my observation, ladies with zero anger management skills suffer chronic entitlement syndrome; they feel they own you and they poses threat to your relationship with your friends (especially ladies). Son, nothing inhibits your growth in life like such a woman. In fact, when Satan sees this kind of lady in your life, he would just pick his pen and notepad to take notes and learn new and more effective skills on how fast a man’s life can be irredeemably wrecked at the speed of light.
My son, God loves you so much and that is the reason he warned (still warning) you vehemently even via scriptures against brawling women the same way he warned Adam against that fruit in the garden.
Anger lies in the bosom of a fool and a foolish woman bulldoze her home without any external assistance….“but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.(Proverbs 14:1b).”
This is the good news: Like a snake rips off its skin for a brand new one, anyone with anger problem can walk out of the habit effortlessly if willing to pay the price. The problem lies within their two ears.
Finally my son, Always follow the instructions of the greater one that lives inside of you.
Your Ranting Dad,
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