Friendship

When I look at the back and see my friends, I’m confident and excited because human beings are my clothes.”

Yoruba Artist (Name unknown)

During my break, I asked my audience to suggest a topic they love me to write about and ‘How to attract or keep valuable friends ranked in the top 3. Most of my followers believe I am blessed with valuable friendships and relationships and they are right!

I have been around long enough to know that most people who desire valuable friends do not know what friendship is all about. Social media has helped us to further misunderstand one of the most sacred words on earth. I decided to write about friendship instead of the requested topic. When you understand the concept of friendship, keeping and attracting becomes automatic. In addition to that, friendship ranked way higher in the SEO ranking so why should I run after a slave when I can dine with the king?

“He who needs a friend should be friendly.”

– King Solomon

It is difficult to be friendly if you don’t have an idea about who a friend is. How do you become who you do not know? I am going to paint the picture of a friend(and friendship) on the canvas of your lofty mind and God’s Word is going to be my brush. After this moment, you will understand what friendship looks like and it will be easy to be truly friendly.

Friendship is not only an extension of God, it is also the deepest form of relationship between God and man. God is the creator of everything and everyone, to many, He is a father but only a privileged few are related to him as friends. Friendship is the strongest and deepest form of relationship(both in heaven and on earth). Great marriages, the best of mentorship and protégé relationships even healthy business partnerships are all anchored on friendship.

Friends are divine fabrics sewn by God like the fig leaves of Eden to cover our nakedness. I don’t care if you agree or disagree, your friends determine your limit in life. Without friends, you do not have the chance to go far in life and the marketplace.Solomon was the richest and wisest in his time yet he didn’t end well according to God’s standard because he lacked destiny friends.

Many people are hidden on the streets of life because they are naked; nobody clothes their nakedness and gives them wings to fly.  The first thing Adam noticed when he lost his friendship with God was his nakedness. It’s scary to know that the only thing Adam lost with God was the friendship they had. God was still his God and creator.

Three Truths you must Know About Friendship:

1. Friendship is supernatural:
  
According to proverb 18:24, A real friend is closer than a brother. Brotherhood is the height of relationships our human nature can handle, anything that sticks closer than a brother is no longer normal to the human mind. True friendship requires a touch of divinity.
There is a burden that comes with being a friend, you will need inner strength to carry out your covenant assignment. Trust me, you can not get valuable friends by yourself and you can not serve as one by your strength.
 
Trying to work out destiny friendship without the help of the greatest friend of all time is like a wink in the dark… Useless!

Only God through Jesus Christ can teach you how to love, serve and forgive. The height of friendship is dying for another friend (literally and figuratively). Only Jesus had hit that zenith willingly and with the purest of motive; He sure knows how friendship is done. Attempting to do friendship without his mentorship is a blend of ignorance and arrogance.

If you truly feel you need a destiny friend, building your relationship with Jesus Christ is where it starts from not joining communities and being overly nice to strangers.

Friendship is not for extroverts and the socially active, friendship is for the discerning.”

Olatunji Rockdweller

There are also religious folks who brag about having only  Jesus as their best and only friend. As deep as this sounds when viewed ‘objectively’, the concept is anachronistic and deeply shallow as one of the proofs of a healthy walk with God is strategic destiny relationships.

Some also feel the bond they share with their siblings is enough and superior to the friendships God is bringing their ways. This also sounds deep but it’s toxic in itself. I know this will mess with your cultural configuration but I won’t be helping you if I do not tell you that biological connections are highly overrated (It’s okay if you disagree).


2. Friendship is a Gift:

Gifts are not earned, they are sent.  Paul puts it better when he said “ It’s not by works, so no man should boast”. Boasting in relationships comes mostly in the form of a sense of entitlement. I have analysed my destiny friendships and I have concluded that I have done nothing to deserve them but I have learnt to receive them. I lack the capacity required to sustain such quality relationships.

What did David do to deserve Jonathan’s loyalty and friendship? Nothing yet he received it. I have noticed that a lot of people who do not have friends in their lives lack the capacity to receive people into their life and space.Learning to receive quality friends is a skill that can be learnt. I won’t teach you that for free. Lol


Your sole responsibility is to receive the gifts of true friendship and honor God as you appreciate and serve them. For they are God-given treasures wrapped in earthen vessels. 

Understanding this helps you to maximize your relationships with your destiny friends from the state of rest. I am 100% vulnerable to my innermost circle because I see them as the extension of God in my life. I do not have any secrets my destiny friends do not know about, I do not plan to have one. It’s easy to be naked and not ashamed because my friends are the glory that covers my nakedness. I do not wait for my destiny friends to ask me about the happenings in my life before I update them. They deserve the update. 

My circle is small but big enough for my destiny.

God said Abraham is my friend, I have to gist with him about the havoc I am about to wreck in that city and if he convinces me enough, I will change my mind.‘ Omo, That is friendship right there!


3. Friendship is constant : 

“Friends love at all times.”

King Solomon

I am privileged to have destiny friends in my life who have been consistently faithful for more than a decade. We evolve but the love we share is solid and constant. Nobody has moved me to tears like those rocks in my life; through the embrace of their arms of support and their rods of correction. A destiny relationship can’t be built on hype and pretence. It can only survive on the truth. Even though the truth is Jesus and He is love, the truth also hurts. Following Jesus also comes with a level of training and pruning which isn’t fun but it is worth it. However, the pain of the truth is better than the kiss of deceit.

Jesus said, “ My yoke is easy and my burden is light”. As light as the burden is, it is still a burden and an easy yoke is still a yoke. It is only easier when compared to another yoke outside of HIM. Friendship is sacrifice.

To be a friend, you must understand sacrifice. It will cost your time, energy and most importantly your ego.

Destiny relationships transform you from who you were raised to be to the person God wants you to be. That process of pruning is not comfortable but it’s worth it.

Your friends are there to help you fix your crown, your friends are also there to tell you when to cast the crown. If all you need are hype men and cheerleaders who will sing your praise even when you dance your way to your self-dug grave, then you do not need destiny friends; you need a bunch of insecure folks like you and I am sure you have enough already.

If you got value for your time and I didn’t charge you a dime for it,then I shouldn’t be begging you to share and leave a comment right here. If you don’t drop a comment and share then you are not friendly.

Do the right thing!

 

51 thoughts on “Friendship”

  1. Damilola Mogaji

    Omooooox10

    “To be a friend, you must understand sacrifice. It will cost your time, energy and most importantly your ego“

    Thanks you so much Tunji, I actually didn’t feel like I was done reading, I hope there is a part 2

  2. How you makes complex things easy to understand and apply is what makes you different. I love love love you and thank you, sir .

  3. I am one of those who begged you to write this piece. I have watched your life and saw how surrounded you are with the best of minds and relationships.
    I am glad you let a bit out and I hope you will write part 2 and share more with us. I don’t believe this is all.
    Thanks so much and nice to have you back.

  4. DANIEL AKHIDENOR

    You nailed it bro.
    …gifts are not earned…
    Gifts are not Rewards.
    God bless you Tunji.
    You are indeed a friend of sacrifice and I speak from my personal experience.
    I still wonder how you coped and survived the running around several weeks for my wedding while I was just relaxed as if the day was just another day to go out just that this time to return home with a woman. Hahahahahahaaha.

    We talk about you almost every day at home these days.

    You are a blessing.

    1. When the most altruistic being I know is trying to tell the world that I am a man of sacrifice. Lol
      Everything I know about love and sacrifice ,I learnt it from people like you. Thanks for being by my side all these years. I love you Daniel !

  5. “ Your friends are there to help you fix your crown, your friends are also there to tell you when to cast the crown”

    Definitely looking forward to the second part of this piece because I am certain you are not done.
    Thank you for always pouring out and always giving without expecting anything in return or making a huge deal out of it eventually. When I count friends, I count you more than once because you have many parts and play various roles at different times to me. God bless you and I love you.

    1. It’s such a great blessing to have you walking life with me for more than a decade. Love you plenty my Personal lawyer and counselor 💖

  6. Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. Friendship isn’t all about eating and dining and partying together alone, its much more.
    We need to have the right knowledge to choose and be a friend indeed.

    Thank you Sir TJ for these nuggets of wisdom.
    God bless you

  7. “Your friends are there to help you fix your crown, your friends are also there to tell you when to cast the crown.”
    This really feels special personally for me.
    Thank you Uncle Barmz, I’ll sure read this over and over again.

  8. “As light as the burden is, it is still a burden and an easy yoke is still a yoke. It is only easier when compared to another yoke outside of HIM. Friendship is sacrifice.”

    Many parts of this writing will leave you pondering on your friendships and how you have served in them. Thank you for drawing this out from the well inside of you, it’s a word in season and a timeless piece.
    Most of all, thank you for living the life that you teach.

  9. To be a friend, you must understand sacrifice. It will cost your time, energy and most importantly your ego.

    This really got me. Thank you sir. I had to unlearn somethings and relearn some.

  10. This is great! Flesh has not revealed this to you, I was talking to someone a few days ago about friends and acquaintances. Well done The Rockdweller!!!

  11. True friendship requires vulnerability💯. We tend to be too cautious most times even with people we are supposed to be free to share our burdens with.

    Thank you so much for sharing, I learnt a lot and I also enjoyed your writing flow.

  12. “If you truly feel you need a destiny friend, building your relationship with Jesus Christ is where it starts from not joining communities and being overly nice to strangers”.
    That’s something I truly relate with. Thank you sir. God help me.

  13. “If you truly feel you need a destiny friend, building your relationship with Jesus Christ is where it starts from not joining communities and being overly nice to strangers”.

    That’s something I truly relate with. Thank you sir. God help me.

  14. Rocky rocky rocky….. the fact that I know you a beneficiary of destiny friends I know this is deeply personal. This was from your core. The world need friends, true ones, destiny ones it’s what will save the world. Thank you Rocky. Can I share it 🥺

  15. The way friendship has been described here, it almost ranks above spousal relationships and could, sometimes, be in competition with it. How does one manage this “conflict” wherever it turns to be?
    And yes, I agree that destiny friends are golden.
    Thank you so much for writing so beautifully.

    1. There are no competitions in friendship. Your spouse is supposed to be your friend in the first place too. Whoever is coming into your life should know your destiny friends and relationships and help you strengthen them by loving and honoring them as you do too.
      How you handle your relationships is part of your values and that should be clear from the beginning.

  16. “Destiny relationships transform you from who you were raised to be to the person God wants you to be“ thank you for this beautiful piece. God bless you sir.

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