In my opinion, Joseph is one of the unsung heroes in the Bible. He is a man of great qualities and virtue. I have read about Mary. In fact, some folks even built a doctrinal gate around ‘Hail Mary’. I feel we are being unjust and unfair to this wonderful man. So, I have decided to rant about him a bit and I hope you would agree with me.
Many centuries ago, Joseph finally decided to jump into the pool of relationship after many years of bachelorhood. None of the raunchy and trendy ladies in the city tickle his fancy at all but a naive reclusive young maiden. She refused to hang out with him, she turned down many parties but somehow his persistence forced her to the wall of this conclusion : only a fool would continuously turn down a handsome, virtuous and a God-fearing man of this honourable character . She finally agreed to let him into her delicate heart but with myriads of conditions: no kiss, no touch, no visit and any communication that can stir up some ‘ungodly’ hormones would not be entertained. Like every other man in his generation, Joseph felt deprived but the chains of restrictions were like moonlight to the sunshine of his love for Mary. He believed her decisions honoured God and Joseph understood the law of delayed gratification.
His friends probably mocked him, they wonder how a great friend of theirs could keep to all the boring restrictions Instituted the pious girl. Joseph stood his ground even when it meant standing alone; he did not let their words get to him, he drew his solace and strength from the phrase “Time heals all wounds” (“these restrictions won’t last forever” He told himself).
Furthermore, He worked harder and planned towards the bridal rites. He couldn’t wait to live above the burdensome laws, he wanted to break through the ceiling of restrictions and start a family with the most virtuous damsel he ever knew (ASAP).
He charged towards his plans and he could see his dreams tilting towards reality as hours turned days and days turned weeks. He eventually paid the bride prize and all the bridal rites were effortlessly carried – – they had a wonderful traditional wedding. Joseph felt he was legally permitted to enter the ‘Holy of holies’ but Mary denied him again, she reminded him, how long they had waited till and encouraged him by showing him the obvious (the time left is infinitesimal compare to the time they had waited for) . “My king and my lord, You have been patient with me for this long, please, just give me a little more time.I am sure I am more eager to swim in the endless ocean of libidinousness but I am sure the next 5 months won’t kill us.” She said. Indeed soft words do break bones.
The voyage was smooth and the breeze was balmy until Mary’s physiology began to change; her skin became as bright as crystal and as tender as the skins of a day old baby, her weight increased as the time ticked– everything later became as obvious as the sky. Joseph’s affection towards her dwindled even as her belly protruded. He couldn’t help but withdrew from his betrothed when none of his numerous questions got reasonable answer. She kept mute most of the times which further amplified Joseph’s confusion. This is the least thing a man dreaming of his honeymoon deserve from his fiancée and in-laws . What a torturing experience!
Mary couldn’t explain to her ever-caring fiancé, she couldn’t even explain to anyone else not even herself (how do you explain what you don’t understand?) . Tormenting questions kept slamming the wall of her soul. How would I proof my innocence to Jay? Who would believe what the angel said to me? How can I prove to him, my hymen is still intact and I truly want things to work between us; why me? She pondered.
Even though the angel called her the most the most favoured amongst women, her situation painted the direct opposite. Everything fell apart like a two dollars suitcase. The angel told her she was blessed, however, she looked cursed.
Joseph couldn’t handle the surge of regret roaring within him but he had none to pour out his overwhelmed heart to but himself. He remembered the counsel of his friends; he blamed himself for being so gullible and dewy-eyed. He said to himself ‘I can’t father a bastard just to cover the shame and scorn from friends. Never! ”
He did not post it on Facebook or tweet any part of his woes. He decided to divorce ‘codedly’. Even in his bewilderment and fury, he still had a soft spot for her and felt exposing her folly would be too harsh. However, he couldn’t cope with the ‘shit’. He felt jilted and jolted yet he cared about her dignity and self-image.
“Then Joseph her husband, being a just man , and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.” (Matt 1:19)
His could not do anything perfectly because his was emotionally wrecked. Driving a nail into the wood with his hammer was just too much for him. His customers complained yet he couldn’t help. His business began to sink but that was the least on his over-tasked brain.
As he perpended on the overwhelming scenario, he shut his teary eyes gently as worry weighed him down and got into REM sleep (too much pressure on the poor young man). In the dreamland he saw a man with an unusual aura; he encouraged him to go back to Mary. He unveiled the mystery behind the protruding belly. He found it strange but he chose to obey his dream. What a man of GRACE and Faith.
He humbly accepted Mary and her strange pregnancy back into his heart and under his roof (Mary’s prayer was finally answered). He took total responsibility as if he actually fertilized the innocent egg. What a man!
Joseph endured the galling behaviors that come with pregnancy. He endured and took care of Mary yet he had been deprived of his emotional right; he was exposed to the punishment he didn’t deserve. I can imagine how he would be gazing at his own wife in amusement. He actually ‘entered one chance’ (sexually deprivation continued).
He suffered the burden of traveling with a heavily pregnant woman on a colt during a severe winter. He remained calm and matures through it all. In a young carpenter we found a worthy husband, caring nurse, amazing leader, a wonderful nanny and great babysitter. What a great man He was!
Did you know Joseph ran a sex-relationship even more than a year after his traditional marriage yet his sanity remained intact.
Real men do understand this : SEX IS WORTH WAITING FOR.
Go for Real men…. Go for Joseph!
Merry Christmas to you!
Joseph’s P. R. O,
KINDLY SHARE WITHOUT THE REAL MEN YOU KNOW.