How To Be Confident (3)

“The fact that it is trending, doesn’t mean it’s healthy” — The Rockdweller


We are confronted on a daily basis, with volumes of varying content, but confident people have mastered the art of choosing their contents wisely, thereby, consuming intentionally. Have you heard the phrase ‘Content is King’ before? I am definitely not viewing it from the same lenses other content creators view it from. As for me, content is literally a king: one with the capacity to rule, command, promote, demote and even destroy. Every content you consume be it on social media, blogs, podcast or conversations, has tremendous impact, and eventually, control over your life. Your life and confidence level, naturally flows in the direction of your most dominant thoughts and these thoughts are babies produced from the womb of the kind of content you expose yourself to. Trust me, in the grand scheme of things, contents are not just consumed, they are enthroned!

Some people are already held up in the cage of the monsters they created or allowed into their minds, while few others, are enjoying the warm embrace of the angels they designed (consciously and unconsciously). Unfortunately, you have no control over how you are influenced by the contents you allow in, you can only choose which content to open the door of your mind to. So choose wisely!


Choosing your atmosphere is extremely affordable in comparison to getting a space where you don’t belong” — The Rockdweller

According to Merriam Websters dictionary, an environment is the complex of physical, chemical, and biotic factors (such as climate, soil, and living things) that act upon an organism or an ecological community and ultimately determine its form and survival.

It is clear from the above definition that your environment determines your form and survival (destiny and life outcome). It shapens the quality of your confidence too. You might be unable to create a new or enabling environment easily, but you can choose from the existing ones, that which suits your destiny.

The fastest way to choose your content is by hand picking your environment. Choosing your environment is the process of actively selecting where you spend your time and whom you share your space with.

Avoid like a plague (e.g. coronavirus) anyone who doesnt believe in you, and seek to embrace relationships that challenge you to be a better version of yourself. However, drop any relationship that attacks your self-esteem like hot iron regardless of who they seem to be. Why? Folks with low confidence level, can only create after their own kind. Only folks with badly injured esteem, naturally attack and reject people; give them space. One of the reasons you have to work on your confidence level, is so you do not become a toxin people have to flee from.

If you have to cajole anyone into accepting you, then I advise you rather walk through the door. One of the easiest sign to know you are in a wrong environment is that you are surrounded by folks who think you’re proud. Do not try to be humble, just flee. Humility is not acting, it’s being. If you are one of those people that easily spot pride in others, then you are terribly sick and I pray you find healing even as you read this.

Beloved, spend time with only those who have the revelation of what God says about you; those who don’t define you by your frailties and disadvantages; they don’t even define you by your advantages, but view you only in the light of God’s purpose for your life. Jesus couldn’t do much in HIS hometown because they were defining him strictly by his biological attributes which would have had negative effects on his confidence. However, He didn’t bother wasting time and energy selling himself to them, He created his own environment by going abroad where he was strictly defined by his purpose and the revelation of what God had said about him.

Almighty Jesus went to an environment where a middle-aged working-class lady literally ran through troops to have touch the hemp of his garment in expectancy of a miracle, He relocated to a place where a general in the military beseeched him just to speak a word and that would be more than enough. For a second, imagine if Jesus was too emotional to leave his people and ‘geng’. He won’t have raised the dead, opened the blind eyes, walked on the sea etc. His influence would have been minimal.

As regards Abraham, God probably ordered him to leave his family because they were draining his confidence tank.

David was a man full of confidence. Like me, he was from a dysfunctional family and was surrounded by confidence drainers but unlike me, he was wise enough not to stay home and hang around his abusive brothers who didn’t believe in him and had no clue about God’s prophesy concerning him. Even his Dad didn’t rate him much. Howbeit, David created his own environment and allowed his confidence to grow its natural habitat.

How did he do it? David spent his time in the wilderness ‘fellowshipping’ with sheep who probably rated/accepted him good enough to serve and protect them and he did not expend time fighting for his abusive family’s acceptance/approval in the comfort of Jesse’s mansion.

Jesus said you are accepted in the beloved. So any environment that rejects is not yours (even in your imperfection)…Move!

1samuel 17:26-30 captures how David handled the negative vibes from his brothers and created an environment for his miracle. It is funny how many people who will eventually accept us are total strangers. Even those (siblings) who were present during David’s anointing service, were the first to attack his confidence. I actually expected them to say “Boy, you were actually anointed by the biggest prophet in town right before our eyes. This is your time, go for it!”

David asked the soldiers standing nearby, What will a man get for killing this Philistine and ending his defiance of Israel? Who is this pagan Philistine anyway, that he is allowed to defy the armies of the living God? And these men gave (they accepted him) David the same reply. They said, Yes, that is the reward for killing him. But when Davids oldest brother, Eliab, heard David talking to the men, he was angry. What are you doing around here anyway? he demanded. What about those few sheep you’re supposed to be taking care of? I know about your pride and deceit. You just want to see the battle! What have I done now? David replied I was only asking a question! He walked away (created another environment) over to some others and asked them the same thing and received the same answer.

1 Samuel 17:26‭-‬30 NLT

To walk in confidence, you must learn to walk out of a toxic atmosphere and walk over to some safer environment.

This is the end of the confidence series and I feel so blessed. Please let me know if you enjoyed reading it much as I enjoyed writing it via the comment section.

How will your friends know this if you don’t share and tag me on social media?

19 thoughts on “How To Be Confident (3)”

  1. Only a few men, can articulate an apt instruction and guidelines on this topic, and this my brother is a great job well done. I am proud to call you a brother.

  2. I tried to practice the things I learnt in the first two series daily and I am seeing huge changes in my confidence level. My relationship with God has even gone deeper. I am glad I have the complete doze now.. Thanks so much Sir .

  3. To walk in confidence, you must learn to walk out of a toxic atmosphere and walk over to some safer environment
    This was it for… I had to wait till when I’m relax to soak this in. Great and thought provoking write up

  4. One of the quotes I’ve probably always reminded myself of is: “you’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served”…
    This series ended with a banging reminder:
    ‘To walk in confidence, you must learn to walk out of a toxic atmosphere and walk over to some safer environment”… And it couldn’t have been any less perfect.

    Thanks for being the ocean of blessings that you are.

  5. drop any relationship that attacks your self-esteem like hot iron regardless of who they seem to be.
    One of the easiest sign to know you are in a wrong environment is that you are surrounded by folks who think you’re proud. Do not try to be humble, just flee. Humility is not acting, it’s being.
    This is a confirmation 4me cuz it’s been hard trying 2walk away.Am so glad to have you in my life n in this generation.
    You then ended this with a hot,pepper soup “To walk in confidence, you must learn to walk out of a toxic atmosphere and walk over to some safer environment” so much love for u’re bless n highly favored.THANK YOU

  6. My mom read this and send it to my aunt. They were like “Zino finally has a friend that have sense when is she bring him home….LMAO”

    Thanks so much for being a great gift to me personally. Thanks so much for being a gangster and the most God fearing/loving person I know. This series is lit!

  7. Awesome! Talk about saving the best for last. Personally, I’ve learned by experience to quickly dissociate from people that attack my self-esteem. Sometimes, it comes in the guise of helping you become a better person but when the focus is only on your weakness then you must flee. No matter who the person is, escape. Thank you Tunji for this series. God bless you.

  8. I read it over and over again and kept having different insights and its similar to what I was reading this morning. The Spirit indeed is one.
    Your environment has a lot to play when it comes to things that shapen your life. It might be COMFORTABLE BUT TOXIC that’s why God had to remove Abraham from his father’s house.
    Thanks so much sir for sharing. It really blessed me

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