How To Be Confident (Part 1)

If I am to base my judgement on how much compliment I get daily, then I can expressly say that I am quite confident. Where more than two persons have told you to mentor them in this area, then you are likely confident to a certain degree or at worse, you have learnt the art of ‘acting’ confident in public which is no small feat.
Despite that I still don’t feel confident enough, I always accept that I am because it’s an empowering thought to embrace and it’s also God’s will for my life and most importantly, living is beyond a feeling!
Confidence is a significant virtue. In fact, without it, most of your values and virtues; talents, skills, spiritual gifts and ideas, will never find full expression. It affects your relationships, work/business, health and even your negotiation skills (entrepreneurs with low confidence level have very low negotiation power than high confident ones). Even though now I appear a bit confident than an average person, in the beginning, it wasn’t always so (My family members can confirm this).
I used to be very timid, weak and intimidated: I was robed in inferiority complex and I that triggered my love for liquor at some season of my life (Alcohol gives you that temporary ‘real’ man status). I was raised in a very dysfunctional family, fellowshipped with poverty and surrounded by bullies who were supposed to be families. Aunty Bisi for example, never called me by my real name but rechristened me ‘ANUE’ and ‘SUEE‘; names that depict weaknesses and sluggishness. How can being confident be natural for such a battered lanky boy? From experience, I believe confidence can be taught, learned and impacted. If I don’t believe that, I won’t bother to birth this piece.

In 2017, I studied how to be a more confident man by investing hours on youtube, read books and few other content. I learnt strong principles such as the breath control, standing posture and the handshakes etc and I can say that they have been helpful, howbeit, they weren’t the real deal. I have outlined in this piece, what I sincerely believe has the capacity to turn a weather-beaten boy who couldn’t look into anyone’s face, to the man some folks believe is really confident. Personally, I don’t feel confident every time and I still learn daily but these are steps that can bring a king out of any kid.


Fear, timidity and unhealthy comparison, are all products of the flesh. Inferiority complex is an evidence of being human. As such, inorder to be confident, it is imperative to connect to the God-part of you. The presence of God gives peace and confidence and most times, your confidence is a reflection of your trust in God (birth out of quality relationship). Some conversations (especially with men of authority), demand more than Self-esteem. I recommend Christ-Esteem.
From my experience, without a walk with God, your confidence building will mutate into self-aggrandizement and other weaknesses. True confidence is fueled by self-awareness but it’s frustrating trying to know yourself without knowing your maker first because he has the ability to reveal you to you. JESUS is not the only way I know but HE is the only way there is! Turn to Jesus today!
Imagine catching a glimpse of Who God is, how powerful and glorious HE is and having a revelation that HE is your Daddy. It fades every form of insecurity.


Confidence and timidity are the direct reflections of ones revelation of whose you are, who you are and what you can do or not do. We are all products of accumulated spoken words (both by us and others). Sadly, most people don’t know their inherent strengths, yet they are largely aware of all their weaknesses, but if that is all they know, then their confidence level will be badly injured (if not dead and buried).
It’s shocking how people (especially our parents and loved ones) are very loose to confront us about our flaws. We are daily loaded with the awareness of our flaws at work, at home, even in the Church. Everyone is an expert in telling you what you suck at and a student at letting you know what you are awesome at.
Quick Test: Pause and Write down your 5 major strengths.
If it took you more than 60 seconds or you had to think deeply about it, then your confidence level is likely to be sick. But don’t worry, I may share how I discovered almost all my strength with you some day.

Kindly Let me know what you feel in the comment section. I am grateful for your time

22 thoughts on “How To Be Confident (Part 1)”

  1. This is something for everyone.
    Thank you Rock.

    I look forward to reading the piece on how you discovered your strengths.

    I am sharing this.

  2. Wow!!! Another fantastic write up.”don’t expect your confidence to be sold if you don’t accept God as your daddy”
    Very true dear. God bless you

  3. Thanks for this. I so much admire the depth from which you write. Anticipating the remaining parts of this series. God bless you.

  4. The ability to make your readers feel comfortable and ‘at home’ while going through your work is admirable.

    Thanks for the depth communicated with simplicity and Wisdom.

    As always, I love it.
    More Grace Rockdweller.

  5. This really blessed me sir ..”The presence of God gives peace and confidence and most times, your confidence is a reflection of your trust in God” (birth out of quality relationship).You are lifted!!!

  6. I’ll immediately grab your rss feed as I can’t find your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service.
    Do you’ve any? Kindly allow me recognize in order that I may
    subscribe. Thanks.

  7. Pingback: How To Be Confident (2) – The Rockdweller

  8. Howdy! This article could not be written much better!
    Looking through this post reminds me of my previous roommate!

    He constantly kept talking about this. I’ll forward this article
    to him. Pretty sure he will have a great read. Many thanks for sharing!

  9. This post reminds me of my growing up days. I want to read the other parts, very certain its going to help me. Thanks for this.

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