“Friends are like boobs: some are big, some are small, some are real, some are fake.”– Unknown
The concept of friendship (brotherhood) is something that fascinates me. Personally, I do not believe there is anything like ‘fake friends’ because one is either a friend or not and if it can be fake then it is not friendship. Fake friends are those who will stab you in the back and then ask you why you are bleeding. From experience, I have noticed that people who whine about fake people around their lives are often not real themselves. Most people do not know that it takes a lot of capacity to accommodate real folks.
Most people think I have many amazing and real friends planted around my life and I totally affirm that because, ALL MY FRIENDS ARE REAL AND SUPER AMAZING. I do not believe that there is any formula for having great friends like many assume. Truth be told, folks blessed with wonderful relationships do not go about looking for one just like people with burdensome ones do not apply for one either; they just attract who they are as a cube of sugar has the natural capacity to attract and host as many ants as possible. In this life, you do not attract who you like instead you attract your likes.
“A man that has (real) friends must show himself friendly; and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” (proverbs 18:24)
Being friendly is not the same as being social. You will surely attract people by being social, but you don’t go that route if you need loyal friends in your life. Trust me, being social is great but if your goal is having the right men in your innermost circle, then I advise you add friendliness to your socialization. According to the aforementioned scripture, I do not think there is much difference between being friendly and being real. The best way to get rid of fake friends is to be real and friendly.
MAKE UP OF A FRIENDLY (REAL) SOUL:
- HONOUR: Honour is everything. Honour is different from mere respect. It is the recognition and appreciation of someone real value (or role) in your life and on this planet irrespective of what they have or lack in the physical. Sadly, many judge and rate people strictly based on what they have and do not have and other funny parameters like age, sex etc.
You cannot attract the right friends in your innermost circle if you do not understand the code of honour. Naturally anything or anyone you do not honour is permitted to leave your life. You do not poison the fountain you are drinking from and remain healthy. If you are not working within the code of HONOUR, then the best you can be is a very sincere fake friend.
JESUS was of such a great value and help to everyone in his country and beyond and as such, was highly esteemed by all except folks from his village, as they insisted he was just a son of a mere carpenter and had nothing much to offer. Dishonour will rub you of the best in life. Train your mind to see beyond what the eyes meet. Obey the scripture that says, “HONOUR ALL MEN!”
- VALUE: Value simply means solving problems. The only person who has enough capacity to love you even when you are of no value is GOD. God created us to be problem solvers and it’s our responsibility to discover the problem we are meant to solve. Naturally, people flow towards the direction of valuable minds. Amazingly, God didn’t create anything or anyone without value; however, we must be intentional about the usage of our talent, skills and strengths to serve people around. I do not take any major decision until I leverage on the abundance of my friends wisdom. Bonds weaken when values diminish.
JESUS is the brand with the most loyal followers because HE paid the price to solve the most destructive problem in the world…SIN. Dare to be a man of value and see the whole world dying to be your friend. Whenever you are outside the sphere where your value is needed or appreciated, you will struggle to be your real self and you will be nothing but a burden.
- INTEGRITY: We live in an unhealthy society where everyone is fighting hard to prove a point. Social media has given most of us an ‘I am alright’ mask. Beloved, Integrity is the rarest commodity in the world yet the most important asset. If you are valuable, you will attract enough friends but without integrity they will still walk out of your life at any given opportunity. Honesty is the soul of friendship. Everyone (including the devil) needs a friend he can trust and trace at any given time. Some people are deceitful machines and they wonder why they do not have someone they can call a loyal friend. I try as much as possible to be open and honest to everyone especially those I consider my friends and that helps them to pray accurately. If you cannot handle folks who will poison you with the truth and stab you in the front, then you will have to cope with folks who will massage your ego and deflate your destiny.
- SECURITY: I do not know the exact word for this but try to train your mind to understand that with God, you are enough. Do not give Satan through your circumstances, the opportunity to sow the poisonous seed of inferiority complex into your mind. Self-doubt and the feeling of not measuring up to standard is highly destructive so make sure you attack it daily because it will deprive you of great friendships and relationships on this earth. Believe the word of God that says you are accepted just the way you are in the beloved, believe the fact that you are beautifully crafted in the image of the most powerful being and brand, GOD.
Beloved, do not be like King Saul who ruined his own reign as king because he had inferiority complex. Just a line in a song “Saul has killed a thousand and David had killed ten thousand” was strong enough to kick him off his throne. From that day forwards he started fighting against the man anointed to fight for him.
Thrive to be secure in your identity like King Pharaoh who recognized the grace of God on Joseph even though he was a prisoner. King Pharaoh gave him so much authority and was never threatened by the influence of the little foreign ex-convict. Be secure!!!
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