Photo credit :Chudy Ogobegwu

“I wanted to eat her pain, take it into me and make it my own”.

Ann Patchett, Patron Saint of Liars

Dear Daughter,

Honey, I feel so privileged and grateful to God for entrusting such a priceless gift into my care, I trust God for empowerment even as I guide you through life. God is your father, I am just a mere steward and I hope he judges me faithful when it’s time to give account .

My Queen, you are irresistibly beautiful, you are that precious jewel of inestimable value and most importantly you are God’s child through my loins though (lol).

I constantly work on myself and I have deprived (still depriving) myself a whole lot of luxuries even as I train harder in the quest to being the best dad in the world… just for you! You are worth more than the whole planets and their treasures all together.

Relationship hazards in my generation is alarming and depressing. I can only imagine how ‘wonderful’ it is going to be in yours, because the global moral standard gets eroded per second. Furthermore, civilization has posed serious threat to our value system. However, God will guide you into your own boat and as a loving father, I promise to play my roles in the best of my abilities, listen to you and teach you the way you should go in life; my desire to lead you aright is what birth this open letter even years before your arrival.

Sweetheart, I have never suffered heartbreak (at that I can remember) before and I won’t like you to know how it taste too, however, I have seen loved ones (especially my female friends) suffocate as they drown in the sea of depressing relationships. According to statistics, 75% Christian relationships suffer serious hiccups within a year .

I have chosen to share few pieces of information that I believe will help you, however, they are customised information tailored to suit you perfectly… Just for you!

Here are they :

1. ONLY A MAN IS ELIGIBLE: Marriage is between a man and a woman (not boys and girls or boo and bae). We have myriads of bearded toddlers and aged babies wrapped in a muscular bodies all over the streets but men are as rare as red diamond. Being a man or woman has little to do with age or gender but everything to do with maturity and responsibility.

Getting old doesn’t guarantee good sense (Job 32:9 MSG).”

Maturity will reflect in the way we speak, think and understand. In fact, A man thinks then understands before he speaks, a child does exactly the opposite as painted in the scripture below:

1 Corinthians 13:11 KJV

“When I was a child, I SPOKE as a child, I UNDERSTOOD as a child, I THOUGHT as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

A real man has a sound relationship with God and also has a sense of purpose. His walk with God has activated a clarity concerning the path carved for him in life. That is the only reason the Bible says “it’s not good for him to be alone!” Boys, Babies, dudes and guys are supposed to be ALONE until they feed their inner being (read and study) enough and grow up.

A man of faith and purpose has defeated the ‘demons’ of inferiority complex and jealousy forever. He has clear image of himself (self identity). He is secured in his relationship with God and his God-given vision and purpose.

My daughter, Your primary assignment is to help him through his journey in life; be his arms as he swims through the turbulent ocean of life. You are supposed to be a helper not a pain in the ass. A man of purpose got enough to believe God for, he is got enough forces to contend with, he is in a fight already. Help him on your knees, inspire him with great words, amplify his strength and if need be assist him even financially.

Imagine, A guy who has no direction about his life, what are you coming into his life to do? Only a real man needs a helpmeet and if you enter the life of a guy who is supposed to be alone then you have violated God’s Word and principle. A woman’s room is in the mansion of a man’s purpose and Vision, that is the only place that can effortlessly accommodate you.

Nothing is as frustrating as being with a beautiful woman with zero knowledge about her job description. It’s part of my responsibility as your dad to build you up and get you set for such feat (trust me, you have got no worries). Only a real woman with a prepared arms can help a man shoulder his burden of destiny; they are called TREASURES. A boy can’t treat you as a precious jewel because he doesn’t know how you fit into his life. “when purpose of a thing is not known abuse is inevitable – Dr Myles Munroe.

My Lovely daughter, now you should know why many beautiful ladies are enduring abusive relationship. The dudes aren’t wicked, they don’t hate those girls either, they just lack every sense of purpose, which it’s not their fault( the pain is a price you pay for intruding a guy’s life when he is supposed to be ALONE) .

Sadly, many real women are stuck behind boys who don’t know which way to go because every route looks familiar. Similarly, some men have unprepared ladies in their lives wasting all their resources, time and mental energies. My heart bleed for those women who ‘wasted’ some quality time in my life when I was a boy.

2. RELATIONSHIP IS A BIG DEAL: Relationship is microcosm of marriage and that speaks volumes. I see marriage as a musical concert and I don’t think relationship is a rehearsal. In fact, it’s the beginning of the endless concert. So don’t get involved with a man you can’t marry else you might end up playing with someone’s emotions (witchcraft) or lower your standard if not well managed. There is nothing like serious relationship. It’s a voyage you are either on the boat or at the shore. Don’t sniff a piece of meat you don’t wanna eat…If it can’t be then bounce!

However, I am not proud of myself in this area but I just have to confess to you at this juncture : I stepped into many relationship just for the fun of it, I loved that ridiculous feeling of trusting strangers and getting to know an aquintance a bit deeper. My adventurous nature made me just wanna invite folks into my life even when they had only nothing to do there.

Daughter, don’t take that trait from Dad. Go with mum in this area. Most adventures are unnecessary and mere carelessness.


“If you are very close to God, you can’t be too emotional” – Pst Sola Osunmakinde.

When you discover the garment isn’t your size please hang it, when you notice the armor is too heavy for you please drop it! You have every right to walk out of any relationship even friendship.

Honey, you are eventually going to dissolve into a man you get married to. You are recognized by your face not your legs or hands. The face is in your head; the man is your head. If you don’t like the identity of the man, baby, kindly take a walk and care-less about whose ox is gored. You have every right to do that!

Sweetheart, you have only one heart and you have to give it to Jesus Christ 100%. Before you step into relationship, it’s safe to say you must be heartless. That doesn’t mean you can’t love people deeply or show your partner great love. In fact, only the heartless can truly deeply love. Love is stronger than emotions because GOD IS LOVE. You have to lose your heart to him before you can truly reveal his love through your actions. Your Loyalty is 100% towards God. You are more than mere bundle of feelings.

I am your dad and I am rootlessly heartless in this area; no friendship or relationship is too precious when I am clear in my heart (please, imitate me in this abeg ).

Heartless folks like us don’t fall in love, we walk in Love. We are not drunk in love we are led by the spirit and the word. Our emotions don’t govern our relationship, our feelings don’t rule our lives. We are dead men who follow the instructions from the spirit world. It’s unsafe to remain in a relationship or friendship God has instructed you to end. Don’t get too emotionally attached to your Isaac, be heartless enough to slash his throat. Don’t pity people, don’t try to be nice, never try to be romantic if it doesn’t come naturally with you(it should though, they said your dad is Romantic) . Niceness isn’t part of the fruit of the spirit, the word ‘Romantic’ is not in Bible either.

Finally, let God lead you not your emotions. Be rootlessly heartless!

My pages are exhausted, so, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I truly long to see you and teach you all that I know.

From Your loving Dad,

Olatunji Rockdweller.

Please, Kindly let me know your thoughts about this even if you disagree with me. Drop your comment below and feel free to share with your ‘tribes’

33 thoughts on “OPEN LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER ”

  1. My Goodness!, I can’t even pick d line that got to me, every line every sentence has the WORD embedded in it.
    I wish there was something to chip in for her but ur Dad has said it all, so just eat and digest this WORD.
    God bless you Sir.

  2. Okay this is another dimension to the writing thing. Really i feel this is for both your biological and spiritual daughter. Really no male has the right to ask any female to follow him when he has no direction. The only person who did it and got away with it was Abraham however, God was his compass. Age is never the guage for maturity in relationships and every person should decide that no single person has the right to a blank cheque of their happiness. I really agree with you Tj if the cloth is oversize or undersize kindly return it to the rack. Else, you would regret buying the cloth, look rediculous in the cloth and be an object of free entertainment for the onlookers. A word is enogh for the wise.

  3. This piece is awesome
    I have read and re-read it and it keeps making more sense to me
    Thanks for sharing bro….higher heights

  4. My heart did melt at this piece.I’m at the loss for words.
    “be ruthlessly heartless! ” “If you are very close to God, you can’t be too
    emotional” Those lines said it all for me! God bless you Tunji!!!!!!!

  5. Wow… This is just… I don’t have words for it. It’s beyond amazing. Everyone needs to read this. Great job sir,
    I hope there’s a letter to my son?

  6. i read this piece a thousand times over and it had me luxuriating in riveting bliss. Every read is replete with a whole new flavour… ‘Only a man is eligible’ and “Be Heartless’ those captions shove me off my working chair…I couldn’t have said it better even with my blend of secularism…Please, don’t stop writing these letters, u can even journalise them so peeps like me who also think about their unborn daughters can drink from your well of never ending knowledge…I respect u bro

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  9. Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive learn something like this before. So good to seek out somebody with some unique thoughts on this subject. realy thanks for starting this up. this web site is something that’s needed on the web, somebody with a little originality. useful job for bringing something new to the internet!

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