“At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents” .- Jane D. Hull
One of my golden friends suggested this topic many weeks ago. I cannot emphatically explain why I did not delve into it immediately, however, the subject has been trapped in the cage of my imagination since then.
This piece is my personal perception about parenting and the role of parents in the lives of their children (biological and otherwise), and I am certain it is not outside the code of the scriptures. Am I qualified to discuss parenting? Yeah…I am 100% qualified! I was once under parental care (and I still enjoy some parental attention from wonderful people), and on the platform of grace, I have been privileged to play parental role at various times, in the lives of a few brilliant minds.
Parents are the first entrance of anyone into this world. They are the first picture mother world painted for us about God, life and anything that matters. It is foolishness to argue with the fact that we are products of our environment and our parents are the first environment that bade us welcome to this world. We are not just carriers of our parental genetic materials, we are also carriers of their influence, values, culture, impact and other factors that matter. In this context, maturity means unlearning some toxic values and fortifying the structure of great values we imbibe from our parents.
CONCEPT OF PARENTING
Being a parent doesn’t automatically put you in the position of ownership in the life of your child. Children are not properties nor are they pets: they belong to GOD. You are mortal so you lack the ownership right and capacity of another mortal. In the grand scheme of things, parenting is nothing but stewardship.
In this case, moreover, it is required [as essential and demanded] of stewards that one be found faithful and trustworthy. 1corinthian 4:2 (AMP)
A Steward’s values and trustworthiness, can be deduced from his loyalty and submission to his boss’ (the real owner) instructions. However, this is not the case for the unfaithful steward. The most destructive traits in stewardship is having an ownership mentality (I am sure Lucifer understands this concept better). Please, I appeal to you to uninstall this mindset when it comes to your children. Nobody can be fully successful as a parent without a sound relationship with God and undying obedience to his instructions.
I grew up seeing parents (even mine) parading themselves as proud children owners; they determine their children’s schools, career path in life (majorly based on their own ego and self-aggrandizement) and paying zero attention to their children’s skills set or consulting the real owner of the wards in their care. My grandma and aunties have preferences where one should choose a spouse from, my mum on the other hand wanted my brother and I to be medical practitioners. Nothing scares me like the passion and pressure these ‘children owners’ exert to bring their personal will to pass in the lives of their children. They would literally shift mountains to make their will happen caring less about whose ox is gored. I have had my encounters with children owners and I must tell you, it wasn’t funny!
THE REAL ROLE OF A GODLY PARENT
Provision of food, shelter and clothing are the primary parental responsibilities according to what most of us where taught in Social Studies, and sadly, many parents have drawn solace from this societal heresy as being their only obligation and what makes them parents. Beloved, you don’t have to be a parent before playing these roles in the lives of people around you. If all you do as a parent is pay bills, then you are of all men most miserable. Anybody can perform that role but only a few others, can lead their wards into destiny. In a sane society, you cannot own an ordinary pet until you are certified financially capable to handle such responsibility. Children who do not have someone or people paying their bills are called orphans, so if you are not paying bills then you are dead. However, payment of bills is barely enough.
In my opinion, the major task of a godly parent is “provision of direction and leadership for their wards”. Great parents are those who are submissive to the leadership of God concerning the journey of their children and are willing to lead and encourage them through their pathway of purpose. Great parents lead their children the way they should go and lead them into prosperity.
Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it. —Proverbs 22;6 (AMP)
Point your kids in the right direction— when they’re old they won’t be lost. (MSG)
Contrary to popular beliefs, I feel the discovery of purpose on the one hand, is a parental responsibility while specialization in purpose on the other hand, is a personal responsibility. This is what I mean: Mr. and Mrs. Joseph knew Jesus was going to save the world somehow, however only Jesus had the full scope. If the briefing the angel gave Mary and Joseph concerning Jesus’ purpose played a huge role in Jesus destiny and ministry, then having a clue of your children’s purpose in life is of utmost importance.
In my little study about the world’s greatest folks (living and dead) who touched lives and influenced cultures while they are here and even after they have crossed to the other side of eternity, for example, men like Michael Jackson, Thomas Edison, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerburg, Hemmingway, Stephen King, Beyoncé, Cristiana Ronaldo, Neymar Jr etc, I discovered they all have one thing in common: they are all early starters. While their counterparts were learning ‘Ali is a boy’, they were buried deep into purpose and destiny doing exactly what they are born to do. On the average, outliers in any field start at the age of six (6). A six-year-old child knows nothing expect to trust the leadership and mentorship skills of his or her parents.
Friends, every child is unique and they deserve to be given what I call ‘customized parenting’. Not every destiny deserves to be exposed to the whirlwind of the University (especially Nigerian Universities considering the quality of output gotten from products of our institutions). There is a way every child should go which leads to peace and prosperity and they need leadership to lead them in that direction, else they will choose the way that seems right to them which leads to frustration, depression and destruction. Let us stop teaching a lion about flying and a sheep about roaring and hurting. Trust me, some knowledge is unnecessary, and some stress are avoidable.
2018 IS GONNA BE AMAZING…HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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