THE CONCEPT OF SELF-LOVE

Self-Love is trending topic in today’s society, however, it is one of the least understood. According to the modern aphorism, everybody is entitled to his own opinion. This piece communicates my opinion of the concept of “Selflove”, and I hope you appreciate the perspective from which I will write and it also makes sense to you.

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than this” —Jesus.

In other words, you cannot love your neighbors, co-workers, spouse, friends more than you love yourself. The safety of the people around you is directly proportional to the quality of your Self-love: You cannot give what you do not have.

God designed us to be social beings and he cares so much about humanity, so he encourages you to love who they are, else you would pose a critical threat to every soul around you. I have noticed that every conflict originates from someone (or people) who lack peace with themselves. Hurt people, hurt people.

Self-Love is not defined by what social media jargons have presented it to be, neither is it a temporary intoxicating vibe; It is a comfortable awareness of your uniqueness that is powered by revelation. In other words, Self-love is the freedom of ‘DOING YOU’ without any external contamination. Self-love, self-esteem and self-worth are inextricably intertwined. In fact, I think they are the same mountain viewed through different lens, if you have one, you have all.

Contrary to popular belief, Self-Love is not selfishness… If you truly love yourself, you tend to be more selfless. Crazy, but the truth!

WHAT IS IN IT FOR YOU? We’ve understood how our Self-love affects our neighbors and environment. Here is how Self-Love affects you directly:

1. IT ACTIVATES YOUR UNIQUENESS

You impose yourself on the society without a tinge of fear. You influence your environment instead of the other way round. Now, you are not afraid to be different. In fact, you are expected to be different because you are always more than ready to flaunt you. It helps you to be faithful to your values. The only reason it is difficult for you to be real, is the fact that nobody wants to be what he doesn’t like.

2. IT HELPS YOU HANDLE REJECTION AND CRITICISM

Rejection is the whirlwind that blows us to the very lonely corner with ourselves. However, if you truly love yourself, that won’t be a bad idea anyway. Self-love helps you interpret criticism with maturity and grace. It becomes easier to see constructive criticism as a candid piece of advice and a destructive criticism can be handled with grace.

3. SELF-LOVE IS A HUGE CONFIDENCE BOOSTER
Our confidence suffers when we connect it with external factors and approval. Self-love empowers your confidence from within and a healthy Self-love is void of arrogance. It creates a balance between humility and boldness in people.

4. SELF-LOVE IS THE PRIMARY REQUIREMENTS IN LEADERSHIP

Self-Love is the bedrock of any leadership. If you become a leader with a deficient Self-Love, you either become a bully who attacks his own followers, or a weakling who lacks the courage to lead.
Folks who are deficient in this area tend to amplify your errors and undervalue your strength. They complain about every little thing and all their actions attack your self-esteem, consciously and unconsciously. They are often power-drunk. You cannot stay around these folks (I am talking from experience).

5. SELF-LOVE FUELS CREATIVITY
Creativity is about birthing new things or giving a facelift to existing things. It takes boldness to be creative especially in this part of the globe where you have to consciously act numb to people’s opinion and approval.
I have more creative minds (writers, poets, DJs, artist etc.) around me than an average human being, and I have observed that the most creative minds, are those who care-less about external opinions and criticism.

SELF-LOVE GAUGE: How do you measure the level of your SELF-LOVE?
Here we go:
Do you ‘reduce’ your standards or ‘edit’ your values just to be loved and accepted by someone or a group; I mean, picking up habits or dropping some habits just to ‘fit in’?
Do people’s banter and tantrums pierce through your armor EASILY, thereby reflecting in your actions and decisions speedily?
Do you find it difficult to recover from a broken relationship or friendship; trying too hard to keep people in your life, organisation or purpose?
Do you lack ‘the balls’ to ‘stab’ your friends with the truth because you don’t want to lose them?
Do you find it difficult to see people shine?
Are you very jealous and overprotective of your partners? (I mean the Unmarried)
Does the word REJECTION scare you to death?

If your answer to any of this is a ‘YES’, then your Self-love tank is in RED if not completely empty.

Here is the good news – Self-love is like a muscle, it can be developed and it can grow if well fed and exposed. And that is what our next piece will be all about because everyone deserves to be high on SELF-LOVE.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

– Buddha

40 thoughts on “THE CONCEPT OF SELF-LOVE”

  1. Yes……Rockdweller writes….. But it’s not just about writing or the words…. The message is “DEEP” words that pierced NY heart deep ” you can’t give what you don’t have”…. It’s the bitter truth….. No one should expect love from any one, when they haven’t shown themselves enough love…… God bless you real good…..

  2. There is not a word written here that I do not agree with….. Self love stems from knowing who you are in Christ Jesus….. Tunji explains it all with such simplicity that couldn’t be rivaled…. Keep doing great work our present William Blake.

  3. Another excellent piece sir. The acceptance of genuine salvation is the best expression of self love. It’s like a self gift. The very best gift from the best person (Jesus) . The fruits you bear are how if affects you and others around you. There is a thin line between the worlds explanation of self love and the kingdoms. Very thin line. Inspirational quotes without biblical back up that make so much sense. Everyone is changing self love and look where we are now with human rights. All self love. Then the #love wins. They’ve all been messed up with their depictions.
    Honestly, this is a very wide and delicate topic you need to teach more on. I’m glad you did this. Thanks and God bless you.

  4. When I look around me, I don’t think I have met anyone who expressed Self-love to himself like the ROCKDWELLER. His esteem and self-worth is huge yet he is simple and humble. You are more than qualified to teach us about Self-love. I hope he tells us more about how to achieve that feat
    Thanks so much for being a huge gift!

  5. Oh my God!!!!!! Wordsmith this is your best piece ever wow……. So thrilled like I know you and it is not famzing….

    Hurting people hurt others, self love gives you that confidence to be uniquely you and love others as you love your self.

    God I want to say so much but would private chat you.

  6. We must pour on us the same kind of affection we pour on others. If we strongly believe the world deserves love, why disbelieve that we deserve same? Self love is healthy. Love you. Grow you.

    Well done, Rockdweller.

  7. I have been following your blog for like a year now and I can’t help but thank God for such a life sold-out to inspiring us…. I have learnt more about life than here than anywhere else in life. May the God of Papa David Ibiyeomie bless and strengthen you in all sides.
    I hope I meet you someday!

    1. This is such a great honour to hear this from you! God bless you richly for letting us know this…. Amen and Amen to your prayers! We live to impact and touch lives and keep touching lives right there too dearie! God bless you richly!

  8. Aribisala oluwatomisin matthew

    I cant agree less with this your submissions, patiently waiting for the next piece! Thank God I can now add my own comment and encomium! More ink to your pen!

  9. Very deep indeed.
    Self-love is the freedom of ‘DOING YOU’ without any external contamination.
    I’ll save this line for myself.
    God bless you Sir, I was truly blessed.

  10. Wow!this is deep. ‘Self love’ you know most people don’t even love how they look,their shape etc that makes their confidence level drops.my dear God bless you abundantly.Nations will celebrate you indeed kings shall come to your risen”SELF LOVE IS A HUGE CONFIDENCE BOOSTER”

  11. Wow!this is deep. ‘Self love’ you know most people don’t even love how they look,their shape etc that makes their confidence level drops.my dear God bless you abundantly.Nations will celebrate you indeed kings shall come to your risen”SELF LOVE IS A HUGE CONFIDENCE BOOSTER”

  12. Reading this post at 5am and I already see my day being super charged.

    I have always thought my self love rate was high but reading this post I realise that self love transcends what I understand it as.

    This is deep and oh you write really really well.

    Glad I stopped by.

  13. wonderful submit, very informative. I ponder why the opposite experts of this sector don’t notice this. You should proceed your writing. I’m sure, you’ve a huge readers’ base already!

  14. Pingback: How to get your Ex Back – The Rockdweller

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THE CONCEPT OF SELF-LOVE

Self-Love is trending topic in today’s society, however, it is one of the least understood. According to the modern aphorism, everybody is entitled to his own opinion. This piece communicates my opinion of the concept of “Selflove”, and I hope you appreciate the perspective from which I will write and it also makes sense to you.

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than this” —Jesus.

In other words, you cannot love your neighbors, co-workers, spouse, friends more than you love yourself. The safety of the people around you is directly proportional to the quality of your Self-love: You cannot give what you do not have.

God designed us to be social beings and he cares so much about humanity, so he encourages you to love who they are, else you would pose a critical threat to every soul around you. I have noticed that every conflict originates from someone (or people) who lack peace with themselves. Hurt people, hurt people.

Self-Love is not defined by what social media jargons have presented it to be, neither is it a temporary intoxicating vibe; It is a comfortable awareness of your uniqueness that is powered by revelation. In other words, Self-love is the freedom of ‘DOING YOU’ without any external contamination. Self-love, self-esteem and self-worth are inextricably intertwined. In fact, I think they are the same mountain viewed through different lens, if you have one, you have all.

Contrary to popular belief, Self-Love is not selfishness… If you truly love yourself, you tend to be more selfless. Crazy, but the truth!

WHAT IS IN IT FOR YOU? We’ve understood how our Self-love affects our neighbors and environment. Here is how Self-Love affects you directly:

1. IT ACTIVATES YOUR UNIQUENESS

You impose yourself on the society without a tinge of fear. You influence your environment instead of the other way round. Now, you are not afraid to be different. In fact, you are expected to be different because you are always more than ready to flaunt you. It helps you to be faithful to your values. The only reason it is difficult for you to be real, is the fact that nobody wants to be what he doesn’t like.

2. IT HELPS YOU HANDLE REJECTION AND CRITICISM

Rejection is the whirlwind that blows us to the very lonely corner with ourselves. However, if you truly love yourself, that won’t be a bad idea anyway. Self-love helps you interpret criticism with maturity and grace. It becomes easier to see constructive criticism as a candid piece of advice and a destructive criticism can be handled with grace.

3. SELF-LOVE IS A HUGE CONFIDENCE BOOSTER
Our confidence suffers when we connect it with external factors and approval. Self-love empowers your confidence from within and a healthy Self-love is void of arrogance. It creates a balance between humility and boldness in people.

4. SELF-LOVE IS THE PRIMARY REQUIREMENTS IN LEADERSHIP

Self-Love is the bedrock of any leadership. If you become a leader with a deficient Self-Love, you either become a bully who attacks his own followers, or a weakling who lacks the courage to lead.
Folks who are deficient in this area tend to amplify your errors and undervalue your strength. They complain about every little thing and all their actions attack your self-esteem, consciously and unconsciously. They are often power-drunk. You cannot stay around these folks (I am talking from experience).

5. SELF-LOVE FUELS CREATIVITY
Creativity is about birthing new things or giving a facelift to existing things. It takes boldness to be creative especially in this part of the globe where you have to consciously act numb to people’s opinion and approval.
I have more creative minds (writers, poets, DJs, artist etc.) around me than an average human being, and I have observed that the most creative minds, are those who care-less about external opinions and criticism.

SELF-LOVE GAUGE: How do you measure the level of your SELF-LOVE?
Here we go:
Do you ‘reduce’ your standards or ‘edit’ your values just to be loved and accepted by someone or a group; I mean, picking up habits or dropping some habits just to ‘fit in’?
Do people’s banter and tantrums pierce through your armor EASILY, thereby reflecting in your actions and decisions speedily?
Do you find it difficult to recover from a broken relationship or friendship; trying too hard to keep people in your life, organisation or purpose?
Do you lack ‘the balls’ to ‘stab’ your friends with the truth because you don’t want to lose them?
Do you find it difficult to see people shine?
Are you very jealous and overprotective of your partners? (I mean the Unmarried)
Does the word REJECTION scare you to death?

If your answer to any of this is a ‘YES’, then your Self-love tank is in RED if not completely empty.

Here is the good news – Self-love is like a muscle, it can be developed and it can grow if well fed and exposed. And that is what our next piece will be all about because everyone deserves to be high on SELF-LOVE.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

– Buddha

0 thoughts on “THE CONCEPT OF SELF-LOVE”

  1. Yes……Rockdweller writes….. But it’s not just about writing or the words…. The message is “DEEP” words that pierced NY heart deep ” you can’t give what you don’t have”…. It’s the bitter truth….. No one should expect love from any one, when they haven’t shown themselves enough love…… God bless you real good…..

  2. There is not a word written here that I do not agree with….. Self love stems from knowing who you are in Christ Jesus….. Tunji explains it all with such simplicity that couldn’t be rivaled…. Keep doing great work our present William Blake.

  3. Another excellent piece sir. The acceptance of genuine salvation is the best expression of self love. It’s like a self gift. The very best gift from the best person (Jesus) . The fruits you bear are how if affects you and others around you. There is a thin line between the worlds explanation of self love and the kingdoms. Very thin line. Inspirational quotes without biblical back up that make so much sense. Everyone is changing self love and look where we are now with human rights. All self love. Then the #love wins. They’ve all been messed up with their depictions.
    Honestly, this is a very wide and delicate topic you need to teach more on. I’m glad you did this. Thanks and God bless you.

  4. When I look around me, I don’t think I have met anyone who expressed Self-love to himself like the ROCKDWELLER. His esteem and self-worth is huge yet he is simple and humble. You are more than qualified to teach us about Self-love. I hope he tells us more about how to achieve that feat
    Thanks so much for being a huge gift!

  5. Oh my God!!!!!! Wordsmith this is your best piece ever wow……. So thrilled like I know you and it is not famzing….

    Hurting people hurt others, self love gives you that confidence to be uniquely you and love others as you love your self.

    God I want to say so much but would private chat you.

  6. We must pour on us the same kind of affection we pour on others. If we strongly believe the world deserves love, why disbelieve that we deserve same? Self love is healthy. Love you. Grow you.

    Well done, Rockdweller.

  7. I have been following your blog for like a year now and I can’t help but thank God for such a life sold-out to inspiring us…. I have learnt more about life than here than anywhere else in life. May the God of Papa David Ibiyeomie bless and strengthen you in all sides.
    I hope I meet you someday!

    1. This is such a great honour to hear this from you! God bless you richly for letting us know this…. Amen and Amen to your prayers! We live to impact and touch lives and keep touching lives right there too dearie! God bless you richly!

  8. Aribisala oluwatomisin matthew

    I cant agree less with this your submissions, patiently waiting for the next piece! Thank God I can now add my own comment and encomium! More ink to your pen!

  9. Very deep indeed.
    Self-love is the freedom of ‘DOING YOU’ without any external contamination.
    I’ll save this line for myself.
    God bless you Sir, I was truly blessed.

  10. Wow!this is deep. ‘Self love’ you know most people don’t even love how they look,their shape etc that makes their confidence level drops.my dear God bless you abundantly.Nations will celebrate you indeed kings shall come to your risen”SELF LOVE IS A HUGE CONFIDENCE BOOSTER”

  11. Wow!this is deep. ‘Self love’ you know most people don’t even love how they look,their shape etc that makes their confidence level drops.my dear God bless you abundantly.Nations will celebrate you indeed kings shall come to your risen”SELF LOVE IS A HUGE CONFIDENCE BOOSTER”

  12. Reading this post at 5am and I already see my day being super charged.

    I have always thought my self love rate was high but reading this post I realise that self love transcends what I understand it as.

    This is deep and oh you write really really well.

    Glad I stopped by.

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