Self-Love is trending topic in today’s society, however, it is one of the least understood. According to the modern aphorism, everybody is entitled to his own opinion. This piece communicates my opinion of the concept of “Selflove”, and I hope you appreciate the perspective from which I will write and it also makes sense to you.
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than this” —Jesus.
In other words, you cannot love your neighbors, co-workers, spouse, friends more than you love yourself. The safety of the people around you is directly proportional to the quality of your Self-love: You cannot give what you do not have.
God designed us to be social beings and he cares so much about humanity, so he encourages you to love who they are, else you would pose a critical threat to every soul around you. I have noticed that every conflict originates from someone (or people) who lack peace with themselves. Hurt people, hurt people.
Self-Love is not defined by what social media jargons have presented it to be, neither is it a temporary intoxicating vibe; It is a comfortable awareness of your uniqueness that is powered by revelation. In other words, Self-love is the freedom of ‘DOING YOU’ without any external contamination. Self-love, self-esteem and self-worth are inextricably intertwined. In fact, I think they are the same mountain viewed through different lens, if you have one, you have all.
Contrary to popular belief, Self-Love is not selfishness… If you truly love yourself, you tend to be more selfless. Crazy, but the truth!
WHAT IS IN IT FOR YOU? We’ve understood how our Self-love affects our neighbors and environment. Here is how Self-Love affects you directly:
1. IT ACTIVATES YOUR UNIQUENESS
You impose yourself on the society without a tinge of fear. You influence your environment instead of the other way round. Now, you are not afraid to be different. In fact, you are expected to be different because you are always more than ready to flaunt you. It helps you to be faithful to your values. The only reason it is difficult for you to be real, is the fact that nobody wants to be what he doesn’t like.
Rejection is the whirlwind that blows us to the very lonely corner with ourselves. However, if you truly love yourself, that won’t be a bad idea anyway. Self-love helps you interpret criticism with maturity and grace. It becomes easier to see constructive criticism as a candid piece of advice and a destructive criticism can be handled with grace.
3. SELF-LOVE IS A HUGE CONFIDENCE BOOSTER
Our confidence suffers when we connect it with external factors and approval. Self-love empowers your confidence from within and a healthy Self-love is void of arrogance. It creates a balance between humility and boldness in people.
4. SELF-LOVE IS THE PRIMARY REQUIREMENTS IN LEADERSHIP
Self-Love is the bedrock of any leadership. If you become a leader with a deficient Self-Love, you either become a bully who attacks his own followers, or a weakling who lacks the courage to lead.
Folks who are deficient in this area tend to amplify your errors and undervalue your strength. They complain about every little thing and all their actions attack your self-esteem, consciously and unconsciously. They are often power-drunk. You cannot stay around these folks (I am talking from experience).
5. SELF-LOVE FUELS CREATIVITY
Creativity is about birthing new things or giving a facelift to existing things. It takes boldness to be creative especially in this part of the globe where you have to consciously act numb to people’s opinion and approval.
I have more creative minds (writers, poets, DJs, artist etc.) around me than an average human being, and I have observed that the most creative minds, are those who care-less about external opinions and criticism.
SELF-LOVE GAUGE: How do you measure the level of your SELF-LOVE?
Here we go:
Do you ‘reduce’ your standards or ‘edit’ your values just to be loved and accepted by someone or a group; I mean, picking up habits or dropping some habits just to ‘fit in’?
Do people’s banter and tantrums pierce through your armor EASILY, thereby reflecting in your actions and decisions speedily?
Do you find it difficult to recover from a broken relationship or friendship; trying too hard to keep people in your life, organisation or purpose?
Do you lack ‘the balls’ to ‘stab’ your friends with the truth because you don’t want to lose them?
Do you find it difficult to see people shine?
Are you very jealous and overprotective of your partners? (I mean the Unmarried)
Does the word REJECTION scare you to death?
If your answer to any of this is a ‘YES’, then your Self-love tank is in RED if not completely empty.
Here is the good news – Self-love is like a muscle, it can be developed and it can grow if well fed and exposed. And that is what our next piece will be all about because everyone deserves to be high on SELF-LOVE.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”