My Kenyan Friend, James Odinga requested for a post about how to choose the right spouse. Honestly, I do not feel qualified to teach anyone about choosing the right person being that I am yet to choose for myself– even as I trust God to get it right.
However, I can show you the kind of people you ought not to consider for a relationship. Trust me, you will always have these categories of persons around you but you should deliberately make sure they are not mentioned amongst your closest friends (I also think folks should marry persons from their inner circle).
Here are the kinds of People you should not give room for in your inner circle:
1. The Ingrates:
My vignette of these “deadly” folks would probably not fit into popular opinions; however, I have chosen to air my view without any fear of misinterpretation. The phrase “Thank you” doesn’t weigh much in my ears anymore because I have come to understand that there is a huge difference between profession, intention and action. I believe that even the devil will scream loudly that cliché when you meet his needs or solve his problems at least temporarily. As such, saying “thank you” and “actually being grateful”, are relative depending on the intent of the person saying so.
You are an ingrate if you are blind to the thin line between your rights and privileges. Anyone can appreciate the tangibles but it takes a great mind to appreciate the untouchables and intangibles.
Photo Credit : jamesmullintattoos
2. The Proud:
In this context, I do not necessarily mean the bragant and cocky but the addicted people pleasers. A proud person is the man or woman who thinks and cares more about what others think of him than what God thinks or says of him. They are always about reputation and how to look good before people. Friendship with them can be very draining because they always have this poisonous sense of entitlement.
Young man, if she can’t handle constructive criticism, then flee like a one being chased by a lion because in the grand scheme of things, you are.
Young lady, if he thinks he knows it all and would hardly ask for any help even when it’s obvious he needs one, fight your way out like a drowning swimmer.
Everyone that doesn’t have the knack of saying (taking) ‘NO’, is proud (kindly check out the post titled ‘The Knack of saying No” here).The Knack Of Saying ‘NO’
2. The wolves:
The wolves are folks who attack your authenticity. They cannot stand you being different from the crowd. They define you by the general terms and status.
Acts 20:29-30 KJV
“For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock.
 Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them.”
Everyone in my innermost circle is abnormal: they are weird and unbelievably strange. That is what makes them the treasure God had made them to be and I have benefited a lot from these roaring sheep.
Anyone that attacks your authenticity is attacking the real core of your existence and such person doesn’t deserve to be around you. Sometimes, these wolves operate in a very subtle manner; they advise and talk you into being normal just like anyone around.
Personally, if I can’t find any trace of weirdness in your life, you cannot be my friend because I find it difficult to believe you have found your magic. Everything God creates is not just beautiful but also unique. He did not create two things or persons to be exactly alike. He is a creative God who doesn’t run out of ideas. We all have unique personalities, and it’s demonic to impose our personalities or societal expectations on others before they can be accepted into our folds.
Paul put it this way “For you are accepted in the beloved” so anyone who rejects your uniqueness is a wolf (not the beloved).
…To be Continued.
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