This thing called FRIENDSHIP 

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” Muhammad Ali

I have read about many successful people over the past few months and I am yet to see a successful mind who is self-made; no real success without the involvement of at least a friend. Friendship is the highest form of relationship. It can make you and it can destroy you faster than any two-edged sword. The right friendship can will install courage, discipline and any other virtue needed to fulfill your purpose into your life with time. Wrong friendship can relegate your self esteem to the background and infest you with greed, inferiority complex and negativism.

Your circle of friends determines lens at which you view life through and they determine what you say and what you fear; these are key to your assignment in life. Nothing transforms you like friendship. For long-term success, right influence is inevitable which can only flow from right association. Acquaintances have their own role to play in our lives but I would like to speak more on friendship and I love you to relate it to your calling in life. Someone said acquaintances are short-term friends, but I believe they are just those nice buddies who we love and enjoy their presence. You can be around my life for 5 years and still be in acquaintance’s zone maybe a friendly one though.

“The righteous chooses his friends wisely”-King Solomon

We didn’t have the luxury to choose our family, race or nationality; nature did that for us. God has given us the right and responsibility to choose our friends as we sojourn on this planet. Nobody helps you in choosing your friends but you. The quality of your life is directly proportional to the quality of those who you call friends.

Quality friendship has been the best thing that has happened to me in more than two decades of inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide. I cannot confidently point at any personal discovery, revelation or achievement without the contribution of a friend (directly or indirectly, passively or actively). Friends have a way of fueling your anointing; they are God erected pillar of support in your life. They are not cheerleaders; they tell you the truth when necessary without editing it. God planted them in our lives at different phases in our lives to help us learn new things and unlearn unhealthy habits we had picked up from our environment or background.

Each friend has a specific role to play in your life and it’s wise to know each friends role in your life. So it’s difficult to have best friend most times because they are all specialist. However, one or two can be closer. A friend of mine told me “Anytime I talk to you, I just know exactly what next to do and your counsel makes my relationship much fun” I gleefully reminded him his role in my life too which I judge is more important. It is wise to know each friend’s role in your life so you can maximize and utilize his anointing in that area.

They are your helpers and Holy Spirit ministers to you faster through them especially in the area of their calling in your life. They appear at the appointed time in our lives. We just need to be sensitive to discover and spot them out in the crowd. They are the only people who will stay in your life when the whole world walks out of your life; they will never leave or forsake you. They are just eternal gift that are designed to be faithful to you. A friend is someone you can tell anything and everything and vice versa. You feel secured even when you are vulnerable to him; he is got your secrets and his got your back too! The inscription on the banner of friendship is…. NAKED BUT UNASHAMED.

I don’t have childhood friends, in fact, I added my brother to league of my friends few years ago; we loved each other so much but we weren’t friends. Friendship is too deep for a fragile and shallow mind. The fastest way to see the ferocious and violent part of me is… mess with any of my Friends. I protect them so dearly because I know they are part of my life and destiny. They see what no one sees in you. They see you deeply enough to believe in your dreams and vision in life no matter how big it’s sounds.

Friendship is sacrifice and it can be draining sometimes. Friendship is work and ministry… It must be nurtured, watered and cultivated. I have many people I call friends (just to be politically correct) but this is the real truth, I have very very few Friends!

When a man is 40 years old, and he looks around his life stills find 4 friends, then he is very blessed.” Tunde Bakare

When push comes to shove, I deprive my friends their sleep, comfort and luxury. My friends are the only set of people I can ‘disturb’ and inconvenient without guilt. When I need counsel or any form of help I run to them(3000000km/s), I organize impromptu meeting. My friends crash their plans and shift mountains to create time for me when needed (that is very mutual).When we sit to discuss issues, time is of no value. I think this is one of the reasons why quality friends are always few because it requires a whole lot of investment to maintain. Friendship is an endless journey fuelled with mutual sacrifices.However, the sacrifice may be one-sided at a particular phase of the friendship. God was the only party sacrificing at the beginning of his friendship with Abraham. Howbeit, its a mutual commitment. Real friendship is impossible outside the umbrella of Christ.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 KJV

Someone once asked me, how to spot a good friend. I told him only God can truly reveal that to you maybe through association or carrying out task. Time has a way of unveiling a tested friend. However, there are some set of people God warns us against. Permit me to speak on one or two.


Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go(Proverbs 22:24)

God created everyone with a bit of anger and he gave everyone the ability and grace to control his anger and carry his own cross. I don’t believe, anyone is created with excessive anger. We just have folks who are irresponsible to put their spirit under control. Some folks are ireful and cheeky and they will draw solace from self-immolating aphorism like “This is just me, I can’t control me temper.” I used to be in that category too and I can tell you anger management or mismanagement is just perception. Folks with anger management issues just need a serious paradigm shift.

If you can’t control your temper you can’t control your life and if you can’t control your life then you are a liability to everyone around you. You don’t have to be a city without walls. It’s dangerous and unhealthy.

“An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.(Proverbs 29:22).


For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. (James 3:16)

God says” don’t make them your friends for your own destiny and safety! “It’s against God’s instructions to do otherwise. God went further to warn men to stay off ladies with anger issues. It is God’s will for them to remain ‘husbandless’ until they come to their senses.

Proverbs 21:9, 19 KJV

It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

[19] It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

If you look closely God repeated the instructions twice even in the same chapter. That shows how strong the warning is! I won’t be able to write further because of length and ink (lol). However keep these commandments:

2. Your friend must be GODLY (he must have a solid relationship with God) else is unsafe.

3. Your friend must not be a King Saul (a man with chronic inferiority complex).

4. Your friend must have characters. That is: Don’t be a friend to a thief, rapist etc. He will damage your brand!

Gracias por leyendo,

Olatunji Rockdweller.

Please, kindly drop your comment and share with your friends.

Twitter :@T_Rockdweller

24 thoughts on “This thing called FRIENDSHIP ”

  1. I like dis…friends are specialists…lets try to find their roles in our lives…..friendship is work et ministry….. great piece?

  2. I am honoured to be friends with you Olatunji! You are and have always been the perfect example of what a friend should be! Great piece as always!

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